Physik

For a man touched

in his wind and exhibiting

sombre blue sputum

that sinks in water,

might I suggest

wide-eyed monk kill?

The everlasting pill

atomic number 51

passed from father to son

created in the stars

but we won't overcharge.

Sir, you will find smoking beneficial

in relieving difficulty with your breathing.

Some might promote juniper berries

gathered from Fremington, as a cure all, tossed

on the hearth or chewed as desired. I can only

caution against such practices.

I have always believed

that an excess of scrofula can be

attributed to the limestone water

and the consumption of oatmeal.

In my humble opinion, many symptoms can be ascribed

to a long and habitual neglect of the bowels.

We have a choice of recipes for relief:

perhaps a purgative injection of senna?

And may I recommend,

from a gentleman who ranks high,

the self- administering enema kit:

beautifully presented in a velvet-

lined mahogany case,

telescopic, japanned brass

tube and flexible leather pipe

providing continuous stream

action; two rectum pipes

(extra strong, large and small).

Comes with additional

vaginal pipe. Tastefully finished

with exterior brass mount.

21 shillings: convenient,

economic and efficacious.